When Worlds Collide
by DragonNerdGirl
Summary: Artemis Fowl didn't expect the world to come crashing down that day. Neither did Ciel Phantonmhive. Worlds have collided and must be put back together to restore peace. WARNING: Mass crossover between Artemis Fowl, Kuroshitsuji, and The Lord of the Rings. Rated T for violence, romance, certain references, and Grelle Sutcliffe. Spoilers abound. ABANDONED.
1. Chapter One: A Black-Haired Boy

**Author's Note: Disclaimer I own none of the AF, Black Butler (or Kuroshitsuji), or LOTR characters and worlds that appear in this fanfic. They belong to their authors, respectively, Eoin Colfer, Yana Toboso, and J.R.R. Tolkien.**

 **Please note that this story will be confusing, mind-blowing, and incredibly crazy (all due to a certain Shinigami, but let's not go there). If you feel uncomfortable with any of the references or characters at any time, feel free to stop reading.**

 **Well, welcome to the crazy mind of DragonNerdGirl. We advise that you strap yourselves in tightly, keep your hands and feet inside the car, and do not stand while reading. We also advise that if you need to take a break to understand what the heck you just read that you do so. Thank you and enjoy the ride!**

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Chapter One: A Black-Haired Boy and His Devoted Bodyguard

Artemis Fowl the Second stood up from his desk and walked over to the bookcase of his study. He fingered several large ones and then took out a thin hardback. His favorite book since he was little. He skimmed through its well-worn pages fondly, remembering when his father read to him from it. The youth wondered briefly if it would be a good time to start reading this story to his little brothers. He decided against it. Myles already knew about the fairies since his possession by the fairy warrior spirits, but this story might give him a desire to catch one. And Artemis did not want to deal with the LEP for any other reason than correspondence between Holly, Foaly, and himself.

He slowly replaced the book on the shelf and returned to his desk. He was just about to finish the new program he had been concentrating on for the past week, when the ring on his middle finger vibrated. It must be Holly.

Artemis twisted the ring so the ostentatious setting sat inside his hand, and held the device up to his ear.

"Holly, that you?"

He could almost hear the elf's eyes roll. "No, Artemis. This is the FBI. Of course, it's me. Who else would be calling you on your communicator?"

"All right, all right. I was merely asking. You never know if your communicator could be stolen," he retorted, smiling.

"You have that smug grin on, don't you, Mud Boy?" Holly grimaced. She knew he was joking with her. It had become something of a habit since his resurrection.

"Stop it, Holly. If you're going to keep bickering like that, just give me the communicator!" On the other end, Foaly held out a hand impatiently. Holly sighed.

"Fine, Foaly. You tell him," she replied, handing him the device. The centaur quickly took over.

"Artemis, have you heard of any massive tremors or bright lights in Ireland recently?" The centaur sounded as if he was all business.

The youth thought for a moment. "I think I remember hearing about something happening somewhere in Galway last night. Though the report wasn't very specific as to where exactly it happened or what happened. There were tremors felt a few weeks ago near Portumna. Why do you ask?"

"Because we've been detecting strange amounts of activity around the Dublin area. We've also been picking up some kind of energy. But some of this energy doesn't seem... well... natural." Foaly sounded rather in shock.

"What do you mean by not natural?" Artemis furrowed his brow in confusion. This didn't sound good.

"Honestly, we're not even sure it's energy. If it is, it's unlike anything we've ever seen. I remember reading of a strange energy that was produced by some sort of radiation. It cleared up after a few days and left no permanent effects, but this energy produces radiation. And it's constantly moving about in the same area every day. We sent a team in to check it out, but they never came back." The centaur paused. Artemis could guess what he wanted.

"So you would like Butler and me to check out this energy source?" he asked, knowing the answer.

Holly piped up. "You, Butler, and myself. I'm definitely not letting you get all the credit for finding this thing. Plus, Trouble wants me to find out what happened to the team we sent before."

Artemis smiled and nodded. "I guess I'll go tell Butler then. He'll be glad of something to do. The twins have been wearing him down lately. Father can't wrestle with them as much as he used to, so Butler's been playing with them."

"Good, it'll be nice to see the big man again. How are the twins anyway? It took quite a bit of convincing to keep the Council from mind-wiping them." Holly remembered the time she had met Myles. He had been very much like his older brother.

"As active as ever. Beckett is really something else. I have no idea how that boy can run around the manor for four hours straight and then go to football practice with energy to spare. Myles is a little more subtle, thank heavens. I'd hate to have to deal with an overly-active, child genius. Juliet keeps them out of trouble most of the time though," Artemis sighed ruefully. There were sometimes he wished he could run around the backyard with the twins and play with them like a big brother should. And then there were times he wished they would just calm down and act like he had at their age, albeit the criminal ventures.

Foaly cut in again. "All right, we'll send Holly up in about an hour to get you guys. Would you mind testing out some new equipment for me, Arty?"

The boy shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Of course, Foaly. If you stop calling me Arty. That name is reserved for only three people in this world, and you're not one of them."

"And who would those three be?" the centaur couldn't resist asking.

Artemis changed the subject. A little too quickly. "What do you want me to test out?"

"You'll see when Holly picks you and Butler up," Foaly replied, choosing to forego a comment about the quick subject change.

"Very well then. I'll get Butler. See you in an hour, Holly," Artemis replied, checking his wristwatch.

"See you, Artemis," Holly replied and severed the connection. The boy twisted the ring back to its regular position and picked up his leather jacket. It was mid-September, and the temperatures had been dropping curiously fast since last week. Artemis now wondered if it had anything to do with this mysterious energy.

He found Butler in the old barn that housed the plane that Artemis and Holly had flown with a little push from a troll during Opal's siege of Fowl Manor. Well, the remains of it. Artemis Senior had decided to recycle the old parts and try to build something new with it. The only problem was the parts were too badly damaged to use for anything so they sat gathering dust in the barn. Butler still used the place for a makeshift gym when he wanted to get away from the twins. Even the bodyguard needed some peace and quiet.

Artemis smiled as he approached the barn door, hearing a loud smack of a punching bag as it slammed against the one wall. Since he had come back from the dead, Artemis had decided that perhaps it was time he exercised more seriously. And take it seriously he had. Beckett didn't think much of it, but Myles was getting jealous of Artemis's new muscles.

Butler had just punched another bag across the barn when Artemis opened the door. The manservant looked up at his charge.

"Artemis, what is?"

"I just wanted to let you know that Holly will be picking us up in a little less than an hour. There's some sort of radiation-producing energy that we need to check out, which I very highly doubt is actually energy considering it's defying all laws of nature. Anyways, she'll be coming along to search for a missing LEP team that was sent to investigate it earlier," the boy replied.

"So will I be needed to scare whoever's making this weird energy?" Artemis grimaced. Butler was not in a good mood.

"If best comes to best, then yes, old friend. If worst comes to worst... well, I'd prefer not to think about that." The juvenile genius, as Artemis preferred to be called these days, turned his back on his bodyguard and exited the barn. He heard another punching bag slam against the wall. Perhaps he should leave Butler here. It was obvious the bodyguard was upset about something.

The boy shrugged and returned to his room. He could ask Butler later about what was bothering him. Meanwhile, there were plans to be made.

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 **End Notes: So there you have it. Please review!**


	2. Chapter Two: A Plan

**Author's Note: (The format on this site is a little confusing, so bear with me.) I hope to update this every week or so. I do have some major editing to do because of some major OOC-ness I never caught before. Once we get into those chapters, I may need to extend the update period to every two weeks. But for now it will be every week. I hope you guys enjoy it!**

 **Disclaimer: All characters from Artemis Fowl, Kuroshitsuji, and The Lord of the Rings belong to their respected authors, Eoin Colfer, Yana Toboso, and J.R.R. Tolkien.**

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Chapter Two: A Plan

Butler arrived in the study showered and dressed in his business suit. One with pockets to hide his extensive amount of ammunition. There were slight bulges around his waist where several pistols and a Sig Sauer were tucked into his belt. Artemis looked up from a computer monitor as his bodyguard walked in.

"You look ready to go, old friend," the youth smiled. Butler sat down in a chair in front of the desk.

"I might as well be. Who knows what we could run into," the manservant replied. Artemis nodded.

"Not just what but whom. I've been researching the area where this strange energy was found, and I've made a surprising discovery." Butler waited for his charge to continue his speech. He was not disappointed. "The land there has expanded about three or four miles in diameter. Now from space this change in land mass is almost imperceptible. But walk the length of the land, and you can tell things have changed.

"There are new hills, new grass, a new wooded area as well as a small mountain. It's the most curious thing I ever did see, Butler."

"So why did you say we may not know _who_ we'll run into?" Butler was all business.

"Well, this energy is apparently isn't the only strange anomaly on the mountain. There's another, fainter energy signature. My scanners only just picked it up." Butler raised a hand.

"You mean Foaly's scanners?"

Artemis smiled. "You catch on quickly, old friend. These are his scanners, however, because I've been playing around with them. To put it simply."

Butler nodded. He didn't need the full info on what Artemis had done to the fairy scanners.

"As I was saying, this energy is different. The larger energy force seems to be similar to a black hole or a wormhole. It appears to be just a big hole in the air, like a vacuum with the energy coming out along the edges. The smaller energy is like a ball, or in this case a human form, of heat and..." Artemis paused.

Butler stayed silent. Until he realized that Artemis wasn't continuing. "And what, Artemis?"

The youth snapped out of his daze. "Sorry, old friend. It's just this energy source... Well, it's not human even though it's in a human body, so far as I can tell. And the energy is similar to heat and something else I still can't figure out. It's like nothing I've ever heard of before. In fact, it doesn't even seem to be of this world."

"So we're dealing with some sort of fairy?"

"I don't think so."

Butler's brow furrowed. "Why is that?"

Artemis turned his laptop around and tapped the screen with a slender finger. "Because whatever the energy source is, is being followed by another similar energy source not in a human form."

Butler sighed. "I suppose I'd better pack some extra things."

Artemis nodded and then stopped. "Oh, Butler? One more thing," the bodyguard turned around. "We'll be stopping at a friend's house along the way. I have a feeling this will be more than a one day trip."

This time, Butler smiled. "Of course, Artemis." And with that, the manservant left the study.

The youth turned back to his work. He could only imagine what things Butler had to go pack.

Holly flew over the manor exactly one minute before the deadline to leave. She landed in the backyard by the parked Bentley. Artemis and Butler were waiting for her, standing beside the open car doors. The elf placed the package she had been carrying on the ground.

"Foaly and his inventions. I really hope you like this one, Arty. I nearly killed myself dragging this over that mountain in the middle of nowhere!" Holly exclaimed. Artemis couldn't help smiling.

"Well, I certainly hope it's worth it. I still haven't figured out what Foaly would send me to test out," Holly snorted at Artemis's attitude.

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you were being proud. Why don't you open it?"

Artemis bent down on his knees and complied. He was pleasantly surprised with the box's contents. Inside was a pair of large mechanical wings, just the right size for a certain human boy. Artemis smiled.

"Tell Foaly thank you. This will be very useful during our investigation."

Holly took off her helmet and shook her hair. "Well, don't push the throttle too far and don't try to take it over 1000 meters. Your helmet is in there, too. You'll need that for sure."

Butler stepped up. "Hello, Holly. Nice to get a greeting."

Holly allowed herself to be wrapped up in the big man's arms. "Hello to you too, big man. What's up with you? You seem... distant."

Butler shook his head absently and released the elf. "Nothing. Just some family matters."

Holly nodded and winked. "I understand. By the way, Juliet told me to let you know she hopes you're okay with the engagement. I'll just tell her you're undecided at the moment."

Artemis stopped examining his gift. "Wait? Juliet's gotten engaged?"

Holly looked at him incredulously. "You didn't know? I thought Butler would have told you by now. She's been engaged for three weeks. Some guy in London is very lucky her brother hasn't decided what to do with him yet."

Artemis shook his head. "I'm surprised she didn't tell me. But perhaps she expected Butler to tell everyone. I'll have to tell her congratulations."

Butler grimaced. It was clear he did not like the idea of his little sister marrying someone he had never met.

Artemis stood up holding the re-packaged helmet and wings. "Now that we're all here and ready, let's be off. Holly, we'll be making a stop along the way."

The elf nodded and clambered into the Bentley. Artemis pushed the box into the back seat and slid into the seat beside Holly. Butler sat in the front and slammed the door shut. Artemis and Holly inwardly groaned. This was going to a long drive.

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 **End Notes: And that concludes chapter two! Don't forget to review! :D Constructive criticism is always welcome, as one can always improve their writing skills.**


	3. Chapter Three: A Blue-Haired Boy

**Author's Note: And now, we introduce the real crazies. I hope I can do these characters justice. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl, Kuroshitsuji, and LOTR belong to their respective owners Eoin Colfer, Yana Toboso, and J.R.R. Tolkien. I only own the OCs.**

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Chapter Three: A Blue-Haired Boy and His Demonic Butler

"No!" Ciel Phantomhive screamed, jerking upright, hands flying to his chest. His thin chest heaved with every shaky breath. He could hear his heart beat in his ears like the ocean surf rushing against the shore. A wide, blue eye roved around looking for his attackers. His heart rate finally slowed down enough for him to hear the others around him.

Finnian, the gardener, stirred in his sleep. No one else moved. Ciel drew another long, shaky breath. _It was just a dream. Nothing more._ Ciel slowly stood and walked to the exit of the cave. Sebastian had found it just yesterday. The butler had been very protective of everyone, not just his young master. _He must be worried about us disappearing into that... thing_.

The hole. Sebastian seemed more scared of it than anything else he had encountered in all his years on Earth. One moment Ciel and his servants had been having a picnic lunch on the manor grounds. The next, they were hurtling through space and time through a giant hole. They had been deposited here, in the middle of a forest with a small mountain. As far as Sebastian could tell, they were in Ireland. Perhaps near Dublin, but definitely somewhere inland. There was a large lake on the other side of the mountain, and Sebastian had seen a sign for "Lough Derg" and another sign for "Portumna" when he went out to survey the landscape. There were also several farms, parks, and attractions nearby the lake.

Ciel knew they weren't in the nineteenth century any longer. Strange boat-like vehicles went out on the lake every so often, and men could be seen tossing fishing lines onto the water's glassy surface. Other strange vehicles could be seen on the black roads that led around the lake to the parks. Sebastian had specifically told the servants never to venture outside of the forest onto the farmland unless it was absolutely necessary.

Something stirred behind Ciel, dragging him out of his thoughts. A small reptile curled up onto the boy's shoulder. Ciel sighed.

"Hello, Wordsworth. You know you shouldn't sneak up in me," he whispered, rubbing the snake's head as it curled around his neck. He had grown used to his newest servant's many companions.

Snake appeared from the shadows. "I heard you scream and was worried you were injured. Says Wordsworth." Ciel smiled softly. Snake always communicated as if one of his snakes were talking for him. Sometimes, it really seemed as if it were the snakes who actually spoke.

"I'm fine, Snake. Just a bad dream," he replied. Bard _hmm-_ ed in his sleep and rolled over on his side.

Snake was silent for a few moments. "Where are Sebastian and Tanaka?"

Ciel smiled ruefully. "Tanaka's outside observing the weather in a sheltered area. Sebastian's probably hiding. Guess from whom."

Snake shook his head. "I'd be hiding too if I were Sebastian. That Grelle is freaky. Says Emily."

Grelle Sutcliffe. The Grim Reaper had somehow followed them through the hole in space, unfortunately for Sebastian, who was forever trying to get the lovesick male off his back. He was rather... persistent, for lack of a better term. And his superior, William T. Spears, hated him for it and was forever trying to get him to concentrate on his job as a Reaper. He never had any real success.

"I'm sure Sebastian will be back before dawn. He never leaves for very long," Snake quickly added, hoping he hadn't hurt the young master's feelings.

Ciel gave a small chuckle. He watched the dark clouds streak across the sky. Lightning flashed from the black hole in space. There had been several storms in the area, none of them producing rain. The thunder was the worst. Loud and accompanied by a green flash, it shook the ground and caused landslides of large boulders from the mountain. Snake grabbed Ciel as a bright green light flashed over head. A large stone tumbled in front of the cave entrance where Ciel had been standing only a moment before.

Both boys huddled on the ground, as another landslide began closing the cave. Mey-rin jerked awake at the sound of falling rocks.

"What happened? Is everyone all right?!" Her voice had changed since they had come through the space hole. She used her squeaky voice less and her regular voice more often. Ciel never realized how calming his maid's tone was.

"Everyone's fine, Mey-rin. Sebastian isn't back yet, so he'll get us out when he arrives," Snake replied. "Says Wordsworth," he added.

The maid smiled. "All right," she paused for a moment. "Young master, come here quickly."

She pulled out a large rifle and aimed it at the stone-covered cave entrance. Ciel and Snake moved behind her as several of the rocks began shifting. Mey-rin cocked the rifle just as a familiar face appeared in a hole in the rocks.

"I hope there is a good reason you're pointing that gun at my face, Mey-rin," an all too familiar voice echoed throughout the cavern. Mey-rin lowered her rifle in relief.

"Sebastian!" she cried, blushing. Ciel stepped out from behind the maid.

"Where have you been, Sebasti-?!" A parcel of clothing struck him square in the face. The boy stared in shock at the opened package's contents. "What... are these?"

"Those are new clothes for Mey-rin," Sebastian replied neatly replacing the articles of clothing.

"Well then, why did you throw them at me?!" Ciel yelled angrily.

"Because, young master, you were in the way." The butler smiled annoyingly. Ciel snarled and grabbed a smaller package of clothes with his name on it.

Sebastian had handed Snake and Mey-rin their new clothes and flung the sleeping Bard and Finnian theirs when Ciel made a strange noise. It was halfway between a grunt and scream.

"Young master, what is it?" Sebastian looked up at the boy.

Ciel had the strangest look on his face. He held up a black graphic shirt and a pair of blue jeans. "What. Are. These?!" he nearly shrieked. And he had thought his nightmare had been scary.

Sebastian hid a smile. "Those are the typical clothes of a young teenager in this country, my lord. You don't want to stand out too much, do you?"

Ciel growled. He noticed for the first time that his butler was also wearing similar garb. Snake was admiring the shiny pattern on his new shirt while Mey-rin was inspecting her new short skirt and top. Bard was staring half-awake at the clothes in his lap. Finnian was staring at his new clothes like a child at Christmas. The boy earl sighed.

"Fine. I'll wear them. But as the Earl Phantomhive, I intend to inspect my clothes before they are bought next time," he said grudgingly. Sebastian smiled.

"Of course, my lord."

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 **End Notes: Welp, here comes insanity. Please R &R! Constructive criticism is always welcome!**


	4. Chapter Four: Two Sisters and a Lake

**Author's Note: And the gang's all here! (Almost.) New characters are mine (hopefully not too Mary Sue-y). Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Artemis Fowl or Kuroshitsuji or LOTR. Those belong to their creator.**

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Chapter Four: Two Sisters and a Lake

Wendy Peters was sitting at the computer when she heard the doorbell ring. She sighed. It was probably another door-to-door salesman.

"Mary Jane! Will you please see who that is? I'm busy with the report!" she yelled downstairs to her little sister.

"All right!" a young voice called back.

Mary Jane skipped to the door and peeked through the peephole. She smiled brightly and threw the door open wide.

Artemis rang the doorbell of large house near Lough Derg. While it wasn't as large as Fowl Manor, it was still an impressive building. Holly tugged the wool cap Butler had given her as a birthday present last year further down over her pointed ears. She was nervous. There was something strange about this house.

"Artemis, are you sure this place is safe?"

Artemis smiled. "Of course it is, Holly."

Holly was about to reply when the door flew open to reveal a smiling girl who rushed out and ran straight to Butler.

"Butler! I've missed you. How have you been?" she practically squealed with joy and wrapped her small arms around the large man as best she could.

"I'm fine, Jane," the manservant returned the hug. The girl giggled and turned to Artemis.

"Hi, Arty! I haven't seen you in a while! How is the family?" the girl's curly brown hair bounced as she spoke. Holly cocked an eyebrow. _She called him Arty?_

"Hello, Mary Jane. The family is doing fine, thank you. Perhaps I'll bring the twins next time," Artemis smiled back, though not as wide. "Is Wendy here?"

Mary Jane giggled. "Yep, I'll call her. Come on in."

Holly, Butler, and Artemis followed Mary Jane into the front hall. The walls were a warm, cream color, complimenting the dark mahogany wood framing nicely. The red curtains were also a nice touch. Butler could tell the family who lived here was rich.

"Hey, Arty. I thought you said that only three people were allowed to call you 'Arty'. Just who are those people anyway?" Holly whispered through the side of her mouth.

Artemis blushed. "Well, I should have said four or five people actually."

"And who would they be?" the elf asked suspiciously.

"Um, well... Mother, Father, Juliet, you, and..."

"Wendy! Your boyfriend is here!" Mary Jane's cry filtered down to the trio in the hall. Butler and Holly stared at Artemis.

"Boyfriend?!" they exclaimed in unison. Artemis's face went bright red.

An older girl ran down the steps as fast as she could. She stopped about half way, staring at Artemis.

"Arty!" she exclaimed and continued down the steps, trying not to run. Her straight, auburn hair flew out behind her as she joined the little girl by the stairwell. Holly sized her up to be around eighteen or nineteen years old. But how did Artemis know her? _Is she really Artemis's girlfriend? How did Artemis even get one in the first place?_ Holly wondered. The youth was about as sociable as a bear.

The girl quickly got a hold of herself when she saw the others. "Butler, it's good to see you again. Why the long face?"

Butler said nothing. Artemis spoke for him. "Juliet is engaged, and he's not very happy about it. I only found out about it a few hours ago."

Mary Jane smile widened. "She took my advice! I knew Jacob was perfect for her."

There was a dead silence for a few moments. And then...

"You got them together?!"

"Have you even met Jacob?"

"Don't you think you shouldn't go telling people who to marry?"

"B-but, I met them both. I know he's perfect for her. I just know," Mary Jane's face contorted. She looked on the verge of tears.

Wendy sighed. "Leave her alone, guys. She's most likely right about those two anyway."

Butler stared at the older girl. "But what if she's not? I don't want my little sister to be unhappy."

"Don't worry about Juliet. If Jane knows something, then whatever she knows is probably true. She's just that way," Wendy merely shrugged and put a hand on Mary Jane's shoulder. Butler frowned but remained silent.

Artemis cocked an eyebrow. While he had known Mary Jane had always had a gift, he was struck by the odd occurrence. A girl with sixth sense living near where the strange energy source had appeared. Was there a connection? Wendy turned to him.

"So, Arty, why did you come to visit? And who's your friend?" she asked nodding to Holly.

"She's an old friend. Without whom we would not be able to be friends, actually." Wendy's eyes widened but she said nothing. "And we're here because of that mountain in the forest. A few of my friend's companions disappeared in that area."

Mary Jane nodded. "Several people who went to investigate the mountain have gone missing."

"They've found the bodies of four small life forms. Scientists think the black space above the mountain might be a wormhole, and the bodies are of aliens who couldn't survive on Earth," Wendy continued.

Holly gasped. Those four bodies must have been the team. _What had happened?_ Artemis felt distressed. Was there some killing machine that had been unleashed by this black space?

"Wendy, I have a favor to ask you," Artemis took the girl's hand. "Would mind if Butler, my friend, and I stay here until we can figure out what that mountain is?"

The girl's eyes narrowed. "It could be the death of you and your friends, Artemis. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you risking your life like this."

"Please, Wendy. Your home is the closest to the mountain, and I'm certain this won't be a one day event. Will you or will you not let us stay for a bit?" Artemis sounded desperate. Holly began wondering if he was merely manipulating Wendy. Wouldn't by that surprising.

The girl in question sighed. "Fine. Our parents won't be home for another month. They're always busy with something. We'll give you the guest bedrooms; there's enough of them." Her eyes narrowed again. "You promise you'll come back, Artemis. I don't want you disappearing on me."

Artemis bowed his head to her. "I promise, Wendy."

Mary Jane tugged on her sister's arm. "They'll be fine, Wendy. I'll go get the bedrooms ready, okay?"

"All right, Arty. I'll let you stay. Will you be leaving after or before dinner?"

Artemis smiled. "We'll be leaving as soon as my friend gets her things ready. Thank you so much, Wendy."

The girl shrugged. "Just be back by dinner, and don't give me reason to hate you."

Artemis nodded, chuckling ruefully. "Will do." He kissed her on the cheek.

Holly's jaw dropped.

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 **End Notes: Welp. Review please? Again, constructive criticism is always welcome! Especially with the new folks! Next chapter might not be for two weeks since I'm going on vacation.**


	5. Chapter Five: Strange Acquaintances

**Author's Notes: Welp, hello. It's been a while, hasn't it? I basically got back from vacation and immediately jumped into packing for school (senior year, baby!). And then, I got here, immediately started training for my new job on the IT helpdesk, and then... school started. But I have finally found time to update this, so now I will hopefully be getting to a weekly updating schedule. I apologize for keeping you waiting. On with the story. (If you do not like this chapter, that's okay. This is not one of my best chapters...)**

 **Disclaimer: I own none of the characters except Wendy and Mary Jane. Dem's mine.**

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Chapter Five: Strange Acquaintances

Wendy watched the Fowl Bentley back out of the drive way and down the street. Mary Jane smiled up at her sister.

"They'll be okay, Wendy. You'll see," she said.

Wendy sighed sadly. "If you say so, Jane. I'll go prepare dinner."

Mary Jane watched her sister stroll towards the kitchen and thought of something. "Hey, Wendy?" her sister turned around. "We'll be having guests over. Make sure you make enough for at least fifteen."

"Fifteen?!"

Mary Jane smiled. "Trust me."

Artemis and Holly sat in silence during the ride to the mountain. Holly was too busy wondering how her friend had become so sentimental; Artemis was wondering whether Mary Jane was right about them returning safely. The girl was rather special after all. Wendy often spoke of her little sister's distinctive abilities enviously. The younger girl always seemed so calm and relaxed, and nothing ever seemed to surprise her. Was she psychic by any chance?

Holly watched the landscape roll by outside. The mountain arrived in her vision; the very sight sent chills through her. Her intuition told her that mountain was dangerous and fairy intuition was almost never wrong. There was something unseemly about that rocky crag.

Butler could feel something seeping through the enclosed vehicle and quietly reached for his Sig Sauer. He relaxed slightly when he felt the cold butt of the gun. But he didn't relax completely. There were some things that bullets couldn't protect against.

Tanaka sat watching the dirt road from the undergrowth. His white hair was plastered to his forehead by the rain from the night before. The former butler shifted his aching limbs to a more comfortable position. Growing old had been more difficult than he had once thought. At first, it had been easy to take care of Ciel's father. Tanaka had been much younger and more stable on his feet. He could still take down an enemy in the blink of an eye, but there had once been a day when no one could see his strike. But those days were long over.

A brown vehicle drove past his hiding place and stopped right alongside the road. A large man opened the right front door. Tanaka shuddered. He had once been nervous of Sebastian, but this man—he seemed more like a mountain than a human. The man pulled a dangerous looking gun out of his pocket and then opened the back right door of the vehicle. A small girl and a pale youth who looked surprisingly similar to the young master emerged from the mobile. The girl drew a small gun from her belt while the man slid a vial into a rifle he had just pulled from the vehicle.

Tanaka decided it was time to leave. The young master might be in danger, and the former butler could not allow that.

Sebastian was standing guard at the cave entrance when Tanaka came running. The butler stepped aside to allow the older man access to the cavern.

"What is it, Tanaka?" he asked, feeling a little nervous. Tanaka's face had a serious expression.

"There's someone coming. And they're armed. I don't know for what reason," the older man bent down as he entered the cool interior of the cave.

Sebastian stood and immediately rolled a boulder into place over the opening, partially covering it. He then ran to the back of the cavern and whispered something to Mey-rin. The maid's eyes widened.

"Are you serious?" she exclaimed. Sebastian nodded.

"What? What's going on?" Ciel inquired. He stood stiffly from his seat on the ground.

"It's nothing, Young Master. Just some intruders—," Sebastian was cut off by a high shriek. Oh no...

"Bassy! I found you!" a very annoying voice sang as a young man with long red hair practically flew into the cavern. Sebastian simply put his arm out in front of him as the man ran straight into the palm of his hand. Ciel moaned.

"Grelle, what are you doing here?" Sebastian's voice was dangerously testy. He was not in a good mood.

"What?! Can't I see my darling Bassy whenever I want?" Grelle backed away from Sebastian's hand and pouted.

"I am NOT your darling Bassy!" Sebastian lost it. He raised his hand to strike Grelle when a very annoying laugh echoed throughout the cave. Ciel's face twisted in horror.

"Hehehe. My, butler, you have quite the nerve to strike a lady, hee hee hee." Ciel shuddered. He knew that laugh all too well.

"Undertaker?! What... What are you doing here?!" the boy shouted.

"Hmm? I was helping this young lady find Sebastian when that hole ripped through the sky near your mansion. The next thing I know, I'm hurtling through some strangely colored tunnel and landing in the middle of a very nice meadow near this huge mountain," the Undertaker shrugged. "By the way, Earl, why did that hole open and take us here?"

Ciel growled. "I. Don't. Know. And right now, I don't care because you two freaks followed us here!" he yelled pointing at both Undertaker and Grelle.

"That's not fair, William's come too." Ciel felt like a brick had smashed against his head.

"What?" he cried weakly.

"Mm-hmm, he was following us when we were snatched up by that horrid hole. But at least we're all together!" Grelle smiled brightly and grabbed Sebastian's arm. The butler slapped him away.

Sebastian glanced at the cave entrance, surprised Tanaka did not warn them of Grelle's approach. Sebastian pointed at Finnian and Snake.

"Go check on Tanaka. Tell him to report back to me."

The two nodded and ran out towards the entrance. Snake ducked as a dart suddenly whizzed towards them, hitting Finnian in the shoulder. The young man fell to the ground in surprise. Snake was about to run back inside when he felt another dart strike him in the back. He collapsed as he saw a large figure approaching. _Damn!_

Mey-rin started as the thud of their bodies hitting the ground sounded throughout the chamber.

"What was that?" she asked.

Sebastian stared towards the entrance of the cave. "I believe we have guests," he replied and strode in the direction of the noise.

He saw a large man shoving Finnian and Snake into a strange vehicle of some sort. A young man standing nearby turned towards the cave and suddenly pointed at Sebastian. The larger man turned, quickly pointing a large fun at the butler. Sebastian rushed forward, fully intent on incapacitating the pair, when the dart struck his shoulder. It slowed him down, but he kept going, even as the man fired more darts. It wasn't until he felt a shock of pain rush through his body that he collapsed.

A minute had passed since Sebastian had left the cave. Ciel began feeling nervous.

"What's going on?" he whispered. Mey-rin grabbed her rifle and slowly proceeded to the entrance of the cave. She didn't come back.

Grelle was shaking. "Bassy should have been back by now. I'm going to look for him."

"Wait, Grelle!" Ciel ran to stop the Grim Reaper.

The Undertaker got there first, and both he and Grelle went down. Ciel stayed in the cave, feeling more and more nervous. He waited until he couldn't wait any longer, and then he ran towards the entrance.

Artemis had been quite surprised by the hostility of the cave's occupants. They had been expecting more alien beings, not humans. When the redhead flew into the cave from nowhere, Butler became startled, firing into the cave instinctively. As others started coming out of the cave's entrance, Butler kept firing. This wasn't without struggle however. Butler had quickly learned that Sebastian's kind and Grim Reapers did not respond well to the sedative, so Holly had had to resort to her Neutrino. The beam only worked at high blast, but it produced the desired effect. They had just finished strapping the younger humans into the back seat of the Bentley and shoving the others into the trunk when Artemis heard a noise coming from the hole in the hillside.

A boy with midnight blue hair and an eyepatch ran out into the open. Artemis felt something was familiar about the boy, something in the way he carried himself. Butler didn't give his charge enough time to study the boy's mannerisms further because the bodyguard quickly shot dart into the boy's shoulder. The youth fell to the ground with a look of shock on his pale face. Artemis cocked an eyebrow.

"I wonder if Mary Jane had foreseen this," he thought aloud as Butler grabbed the other boy's limp form and tossed him into the back of the Fowl Bentley.

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 **End Notes: And that's all for now, folks. Please read and review! (And remember, constructive criticism is completely welcome! I kinda needs it. Thank you!)**


	6. Chapter Six: New Companions

**PSA: hurting your feet is a bad idea in college. So is getting a cold. Especially when you have a lot of assignments.**

 **Anyways, here's where the worlds converge. From here on out, updates will be closer to two weeks apart since I have schoolwork to do and lots of editing since I don't even want to count how many OOC things I'd found previously. *shudders* Anywho, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!**

 **(Only characters that are mine are Wendy and Mary Jane. All others belong to their respective owners.)**

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Chapter Six: New Companions

Ciel awoke gradually to find himself lying on a very comfortable bed. He was aware of the sound of several people's voices. They were arguing about something. The boy slowly raised a hand to his face and gasped. His eyepatch was missing. He was about to sit up when he felt hands began pushing him down.

"Easy there, mister," a female voice told him. "Just stay down and relax."

Ciel opened his left eye slowly. Two girls, a man the size of a mountain, and a boy who looked familiar were surrounding the bed. Ciel looked to the bedside table to see his eyepatch lying in a heap. The older girl, noticing his glance, picked up the accessory and handed it to the boy. Ciel grabbed the eyepatch and placed it over his right eye and then tried to tie it in the back. He wasn't very successful. The older girl shook her head, smiling slightly.

"Here, let me." She took the two strings from his small hands and tied it snugly behind his head. Ciel grimaced but didn't argue. He would have preferred Sebastian be the one to tie his eyepatch for him. Speaking of which...

"Excuse me, but where is Sebastian?" Ciel inquired. The other boy cocked an eyebrow.

"Do you mean the blonde man with the cigarette, the strange red-head, the gray-haired... person, or the man dressed all in black?" he asked. Ciel could tell the boy's clipped accent was Irish. They were in Ireland. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"Grelle doesn't like to be called a man. Sebastian is the one who wears black," Ciel retorted. The other boy raised his eyebrows but said nothing. The smaller girl spoke up.

"Okay, then. I won't ask. But why did you have those gaudy outfits with you?" Ciel tried not to start in surprise. The younger-looking girl sounded like a woman well in her prime, perhaps around thirty. _She sounds like Aunt Francis._ Ciel began wondering if the small woman was as good with blades as his aunt was.

"WENDY!" a young voice called from outside the open bedroom door. The taller girl walked to the doorway and called back.

"What is it, Jane?"

"Um, Sebastian found the remote to the TV. They're watching Stargate SG1."

Wendy looked confused. "Yeah, so?"

"It's that episode. You know, the one with the little bugs from Season 9 or something. What should I do?" Jane replied. Ciel heard Bard yell in the background.

"Oh come on, you idiot! Don't feed the things meat! Nothing good can come of that!"

Wendy sighed. "Well, they're grown-ups, so they can decide if they want to watch it or not. It's not the episode is gory or anything; it's just creepy."

"Yeah, but the really gory one is coming on next. The one with the aliens from a different dimension who turn regular animals into man-eating monsters. I checked the schedule," Jane called back. Ciel made a face.

"Man-eating monsters?" he asked the other boy. The young man just shrugged.

Wendy shook her head. "They'll be fine! Just make sure the table is set for dinner and that they know to turn the TV off when it's time to eat," she turned back to the others. "Honestly, I get tired of Jane's morals sometimes. It's so annoying when she nags."

"Well, she is still young. She seems like she'll never cause any trouble over boys or drugs and that sort of thing," the Irish boy pointed out.

"Artemis, I think this is a matter that Wendy and Mary Jane need to work out on their own." The mountain man's voice was deep and gravelly. Ciel tried not to shiver at the sound.

"Of course, old friend. I was merely pointing out the good side to Mary Jane's view," Artemis replied. Ciel wondered when they would end their boring conversation when his stomach grumbled. Wendy turned towards the younger boy and sighed.

"Well, I guess we can have dinner a little early. But I'm not sure the chickens are ready yet," she helped Ciel off the bed and led him to the door. "If you'll follow me downstairs, I can at least get you something to nibble on before dinner."

Ciel and the others walked down a stairway that curved around from the front door to the back of the house. A thin, rectangular box was playing real life images, and his servants were sitting in front of it. Snake was particularly interested in the colored pictures.

"Why did that guy just disappear when the bugs covered him?" he asked pointing at the tiny, black bugs that were scurrying on screen. Ciel gave a small shudder.

Sebastian sighed. "Because the bugs ate him, Snake. I thought that was rather obvious by the fact that his scream lasted longer than his body."

Ciel tried not to scream. _Human-eating bugs? Where do people come up with these ideas?_ A girl wearing a long tunic and strange looking trousers approached. The girl smiled.

"Hi, I'm Mary Jane. What's your name?" she said. Ciel's eyebrows flew upward. _That tone. It can't be..._

"I—I'm Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive," he nearly whispered. Mary Jane giggled.

"You can speak a little louder, Ciel. I'm certain the others want to know who you are," she gestured to Artemis and the mountain man behind him.

"Ciel Phantomhive. That's an interesting name," Artemis commented.

The mountain man looked at Sebastian and then back at Ciel. "Is he your father?" he asked, pointing at Sebastian.

Sebastian perked up when he realized the large man had indicated him. Ciel's eyes went wide. "Um, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! He is NOT my father. No way!" the boy exclaimed.

Mary Jane giggled again as Ciel's face turned a bright shade of red. Sebastian covered his mouth to keep from snickering as Mey-rin and the others hid their chuckles as well. The TV show was completely forgotten in the midst of the joke. And then the Undertaker realized what had been said.

"Oh. Aha. Ha ha! HA HA! WOAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The whole house shook under the force of the Undertaker's laughter. Everyone just stared. Ciel wanted to die right then and there.

Wendy whistled. "Wow, now that's what I would call 'having a laugh.' You've got some weird friends, Ciel."

The boy just hung his head. Sebastian smiled at his young master's embarrassment. Mary Jane shook her head and turned off the TV. A loud beeping sounded as the timer for the ovens went off.

"Well, dinner's almost ready. Once we've set the table, we'll start eating and discussing what's been going on. Oh and, Grelle? You're not sitting next to Sebastian or across from him. I don't think we need any flirting at the dinner table," she smiled at the Reaper, who stood there with a very blank look on his face. Grelle suddenly started.

"Hey, wait! How did you know-?!" But Mary Jane had already walked back to set the table.

* * *

 **End Notes: And there you have it! Please review as well! Again, constructive criticism is always accepted and considered. I have plenty of room to improve my writing, and I would love to have your feedback. Next chapter will be up about two weeks. Till then!**


	7. Chapter Seven: Over Supper Part One

**Okay, so maybe updates will be closer to five months apart. Whoops. I'll make up for it with two additional chapters today. I'm not feeling well, so I'm skipping my morning classes to get some extra rest in and take meds. Yay colds! Anywho, here's the latest installment of the adventures of Artemis and the Gang plus Ciel's troop. Enjoy!**

 **(Only characters that are mine are Wendy and Mary Jane. All others belong to their respective owners: Eoin Colfer and Yana Toboso.)**

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Chapter Seven: Over Supper Part One

Soon after, a shriek of delight echoed throughout the kitchen. Mary Jane came running back into the living room. Her face was lit with pure joy.

"Wendy! You made sewer pipes!" The smile on her face beamed across the room. Several of the guests made faces.

"Sewer pipes?" Sebastian asked, his face contorted in confusion.

"Pasta cooked with tomatoes and cheese," Butler explained.

Artemis sniffed the air. "Is that chicken soup?"

Wendy smiled. "Close, but not quite, genius. There are two whole chickens cooking in the crockpots. There's some pork shoulder in oven, too."

At the sound of food, Ciel's stomach growled loudly. The boy's face went red as Sebastian smothered giggles behind his hand again. Mey-rin looked at her master curiously.

"Are you that hungry, young master? You should have told us," she shook her head reprovingly. Wendy sighed.

"I forgot to get you something to nibble on. Anyway, dinner is ready, and the table is set so we may as well start eating. Head to the dinner table, everyone. Jane and I will be out with the food," she called, making her way to the kitchen.

The dining room was elaborately decorated. There were two large china cabinets with wooden doors against the back wall. A long, chestnut-wood table set with silverware and china plates and bowls and glasses filled with water. And a beautiful chandelier hung from the high ceiling. The color scheme was a collection of warm tones from cream to dark brown to burnt orange. Ciel was impressed.

 _I wonder how these two girls manage this house alone,_ he thought. _And where are their parents?_ He sat down at the table, near the head seat. To his left was Sebastian and across the table were Artemis, the mountain man, and the short woman. Ciel noticed that Grelle was sitting all the way at the other end of the table. He couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief.

And then the smell of food wafted up his nostrils. Ciel felt his stomach rumble in agony. The smells of the cheese, vegetables, chicken, garlic, and pork combined to make everyone in the room hungry. Mary Jane came into the dining room carrying a bowl of pasta, vegetables, and cheese. Wendy followed carrying a large plate of chicken pieces. Artemis sniffed the air.

"Mmm... Smells like loaded sewer pipes, Wendy. Green peppers, onions, and tomatoes, I take it?" he asked smiling. He always enjoyed Wendy's cooking.

The girl smiled back. "Yep. Jane knows you really like it. But I added a special ingredient. You can guess after you taste it. Oi!" She turned to Snake and Finnian, who were trying to sneak a bit of pasta. "No eating until all the food is on the table."

Mary Jane giggled at the two servants' downcast expressions as she walked back to the kitchen. Wendy followed, and they both returned carrying the rest of meat. Mary Jane sat down on Ciel's right while Wendy went back for one last dish. She returned holding a large bowl of seafood curry. Ciel couldn't help thinking about his Indian friends, Agni and Prince Soma, back in England. _Soma's probably started a search party by now_ , his thoughts were cut off by a loud knock on the door.

Wendy jumped at the noise and went to the door. She opened it to find a tall man in a crisp suit standing in front of her. He adjusted his glasses with the pruning stick in his hand.

"I am William T. Spears of the management ward of the Grim Reaper Dispatch. I am looking for a certain Grelle Sutcliffe. He would be wearing a red coat and have long hair," he stated curtly. Wendy cocked an eyebrow.

"Um, he's here. May I ask why you're carrying around a gardening tool?" she asked.

A vein throbbed in William's head. "I am a Grim Reaper, young lady. If you would please stand aside, I will be taking Mr. Sutcliffe with me."

Mary Jane appeared next to Wendy. "But, Mr. Spears, you can't take her. You don't know what will happen if you go back through the black hole!" William started at the appearance of the younger girl. He looked at her strangely.

"What is your name, miss?" he asked taking out an old book from inside his jacket.

Mary Jane pursed her lips. "Mary Jane Peters, Mr. Spears. But most everyone calls me Jane."

The man consulted his book, his brow furrowing as he read. When he finally looked up, his face was contorted in annoyance. "Well... that is certainly interesting. I would like to join you for a few days."

Wendy was taken aback, but quickly smiled. "Uh, well, sure. We were just about to have dinner. Please, come in." She opened the door wider as Mary Jane showed William into the dining room. There was a very distinct silence as the man took his seat across from Grelle, who began making flirty faces. Artemis could feel the tension building.

Wendy sat down at the head of the table. She looked around the table and sighed. "Well, this is certainly not what I expected when Artemis, Butler, and Holly appeared this afternoon asking to stay for a few days. I didn't realize we would be having some many guests over, or that they would be so... fascinating," she noted Grelle and William at the opposite end of the table. "But I am glad, that my sister and I could find room in our home for all of you. I hope you feel welcome here and that you have a wonderful stay.

"We'll start serving the youngest guests first." She took Ciel's plate and began piling food onto it. Soon there was a drumstick, a piece pork shoulder, and some pasta heaped on the porcelain dish. Ciel was impressed with the delicious smell emitting from the food. As Wendy reached over to place some curry in his bowl, he shook his head.

"No thank you, I don't like spicy foods," he said. Wendy nodded and pulled back from the bowl

"But you would regret it though; Wendy's curry is to die for!" Mary Jane piped up, smiling brightly. Ciel couldn't suppress a blush before answering.

"All right, I'll have a little bit," he consented. Wendy smirked and scooped a small serving into the bowl before moving on to Artemis.

As soon as everyone was settled in and eating (there had been a bit of disagreement about whether Grelle, William, or Sebastian would be served last), questions were asked. The questions concerned everything from the food to the house to where everyone lived. Sebastian quickly discovered they were in Ireland, which he had already suspected from the local area and Artemis's and Butler's accents. Holly, the short woman, was a different matter. Sebastian suspected she was not of human ancestry. He could see one pointed ear sticking out of the auburn hair underneath her hat. He found her curiously attractive, which was unusual considering his own heritage. Sebastian decided to listen to each of the conversations of the others at the table.

Wendy was talking with Artemis and Butler about their guests and what accommodations were available for them all. Mary Jane and Ciel were talking about the food and generally making small talk, which was unusual for the young master. Sebastian made a mental note to watch Mary Jane's influences on Ciel. The servants were chattering excitedly about the types of food at the table and how well the house looked. William was talking with Grelle about the new orders from the Dispatch, though the male Grim Reaper was hardly listening. Undertaker was silent for once, apparently savoring the flavors from the food on his plate. That wasn't all that surprised, considering the man ate what looked like dog biscuits back at his shop. Holly seemed to be speaking into a device in her ear that extended towards her mouth. Sebastian became instantly curious about this conversation.

"Yes, Foaly, I'm certain the others are human. A few look kind of weird, but you know how the Mud Men are. Yes, I understand they could be hostile, but the chances are pretty small. No, we haven't figured out how to get the team's bodies yet. I'll leave that to Artemis; he'll like the challenge. Foaly, I already told you that these people are human. There's no way they can't be," she said softly, appearing to carry on a conversation with whoever was speaking through the device. Sebastian smirked.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked her, leaning towards Holly. The woman started and looked up at the butler.

"What am I sure about?" she asked suspiciously.

"That we're all human. How do you know we are?" he asked, smiling innocently at her. Holly felt shivers run through her. Her intuition told her this man meant bad news. And fairy intuition was almost never wrong.

Sebastian smiled again. "There's no need to be upset. I just asked a simple question."

Holly's brow furrowed. "Why are you listening to other people's conversations?"

Sebastian gave a small chuckle. "Because I need to know that this is the safest place for my young master. If it is not, then we will be leaving."

"I don't think it's a good idea to do that," a voice spoke up beside him.

Sebastian turned to find himself staring into Mary Jane's large hazel eyes. "And why is that, miss?"

"Because others will be suspicious about how you got here. You don't own a car, you have almost no luggage, and there's talk about that hole out there being a wormhole to another universe. You might get put under arrest and studied like lab rats. That won't be good for your master," she replied. Sebastian was taken aback.

Holly cocked an eyebrow and quietly snapped a picture of Mary Jane's face for Foaly to check. There was something slightly unsettling about this girl.

* * *

 **End Notes: (Yes, I know Mary Jane and Wendy are appearing to be Mary Sues, I swear I'm working on that.) Constructive criticism, as always, is welcome.**


	8. Chapter Eight: Over Supper Part Two

**And second chapter up today. Hopefully, I can get the next one up later this month. I do apologize for the long haitus. I'll try to shoot for bi-weekly or at least monthly updates, but we'll see what happens. Enjoy this one for now!**

 **(The only characters I own are Wendy and Mary Jane. The others belong to their respective owners.)**

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Chapter Eight: Over Supper Part Two

Butler had been watching Sebastian out of the corner of his eye as he, Artemis, and Wendy were discussing what to do with the guests. He felt uneasy about the butler; there was something about him that wasn't right, like he wasn't real or shouldn't. Butler decided he would ask Holly to contact Foaly on the matter.

Wendy turned the conversation onto Artemis's family. "So how is your mother doing? I haven't talked with her in a while."

"She's doing fine. In fact, she and Father left for a cruise trip this weekend. The twins are at the manor with the nanny," Artemis replied smiling.

Mary Jane piped up at the mention of the twins. "How's Beckett doing in soccer, I mean, football?"

"He's doing very well. The coach wants to put him on a regional team, but Mother isn't too sure about letting him tour the island. And since I'm one of her sons, you could understand why she's nervous," Artemis replied.

Holly chuckled. "Oh, I could definitely see that. Considering what your life used to be like."

Mary Jane ignored Holly's quip. "And what's Myles up to these days? He told me he was working on some type of science project last time I babysat him and Beckett."

"Ah, you mean the energy source project? He was given the highest grade for it. The teacher also told him that he should enter the project in the local science fair." Artemis smiled at the memory of Myles's beaming face when the little boy had told everyone what his teacher had told him. "He's entered, but we won't know until the fair takes place how well he'll do."

Wendy grinned. "Little Myles is taking after his big brother, then eh?" she winked. "Let's just hope he doesn't catch any of his brother's annoying habits."

Artemis pulled an innocent face that made Holly nearly choke. "What annoying habits could I have? Certainly not my lack of exercise?"

"No, I'm talking about your habit of always correcting people. And your habit of acting all smug and important when you're around other young men your age," Wendy beamed at him. Artemis made a face.

"I'm getting better at that, you know," he mumbled.

Mary Jane glanced at Holly, who was still having trouble breathing clearly. "Are you okay, Holly? Do you need some water?"

"Ah, no. I'm fine," the elf quickly replied, hiding her next cough.

Wendy glimpsed Artemis's untouched food. "Arty, why aren't you eating? I made the sewer pipes the way you like them."

Snake piped up. "There's something besides vegetables in the pasta, but I can't figure out what it is. Says Wordsworth."

Mey-rin nodded. "I can't either. But it definitely brings the dish together. It's so yummy! You'll have to learn the recipe, Bard."

The man in question shrugged. "If Sebastian will allow me to even get near the kitchen. He never lets me cook anything."

Sebastian sighed. "You know full well why that is, Bardroy. You simply have not realized that things such as dynamite and flamethrowers are not used in cooking a proper meal."

Wendy hid a chuckle.

"That's certainly unconventional. Though small blowtorches are used to cook some types of food by professional chefs. But I wouldn't consider using dynamite and regular flamethrowers since that just end up ruining a lot of dishes and burning a lot of perfectly good food. I enjoy eating too much to do that"

Sebastian shook his head. "That's exactly what I've told him, but he never listens."

Bard frowned. "Hmph. I've told you, Sebastian. Cooking is art. And art means explosion!"

Butler smirked. "Cooking isn't art unless you're a professional. The only reason we cook food is to get rid of any bacteria living in it."

"Aw, way to kill the romantics of it, Butler," Mary Jane winked, smiling wide. Butler rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Artemis used the banter to taste the pasta. He chewed the mass of food slowly, savoring the wonderful flavors that mixed in his mouth. He swallowed and then grinned. "Is that crabmeat I taste in the sewer pipes? It really does compliment the dish splendidly."

Wendy laughed. "Yes, it is. But when have you ever said anything bad about my cooking? Maybe I should have used caviar."

Artemis shrugged. "I'm not sure. I usually find nothing wrong with the food you make," and then he added. "But caviar probably would have ruined it for me."

Wendy laughed.

Half an hour later, dinner was finished. Most of the table's occupants leaned back in their chairs, relaxing after eating such a big meal.

Wendy peeked at her wristwatch. "Well, if we're all done with dinner, I'll get to work on dessert. You all can head to the living room; I'm sure Jane can find a game for you all to play while you wait."

Mary Jane nodded. "There are plenty of games and other things we can do. I bet none of you have tried a video game before."

"Video game?" Ciel inquired.

"It's a virtual game you play on a television. Come with me, and I'll show you!" Mary Jane stood excitedly and took her plate back to the kitchen.

Wendy followed suit and began picking things up from the table. "If you all wouldn't mind taking your plates out to the kitchen, I would very much appreciate it. Leave your silverware though. You'll need them for dessert."

While the servants, Ciel, Artemis, Holly, and Butler followed Mary Jane into a large living room at the very back of the house, the Grim Reapers, Undertaker, and Sebastian hung back. None of them felt very comfortable.

"There's something wrong here," William spoke softly so that the others in the living room area wouldn't hear.

"For once, I agree," Sebastian stroked his chin, concentrating. "This situation, the people, even the house... it's all too perfectly set up. It's almost as if this whole thing was planned."

"Oh... You really think so, butler?" Undertaker didn't laugh. He too could sense the strange aura that pervaded the house. Whatever it was, it creeped into the Undertaker's bones and chilled his body.

"I do. Also, I have been wanting to corner this Artemis Fowl person and demand why we've been brought here against our will. But... something has been holding back my powers. Even if I managed to capture that young man, I would not be able to reveal my true form in order to scare him into telling me the truth."

Grelle frowned. He looked worried. "Do you think...? That girl... Is she...?"

"I don't know. Her name wasn't listed anywhere in the Cinematic Records. I checked while the others were eating," William adjusted his glasses with his pruning stick. The others started, but remained quiet. "There is no human in this world that bears the name of 'Mary Jane Peters.'"

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 **End Notes: Yes, I am still aware that Mary Jane and Wendy seem to be Mary Sues. Again, I am working on that.**

 **As always, constructive criticism is always welcome. Please review!**


	9. Author's Note

Okay so... I really have no idea why this thing is well liked. I started this 6 or 7 years ago, and oh my word, reading through it is so painful. The Mary Sue-ness that is nigh impossible to fix without completely changing the story, the OOC-ness, the entire idea to begin with. Let me tell you, five or six years of writing will definitely make your old stuff look like junk.

I had posted this on a whim just to see if maybe I could get back into it, and that was a horrible idea, at least on my end. I lost the desire to write this story quite a while ago. And between college, then graduation, and now adulting, I really don't have a lot of time to write a story that I've lost interest in. So I'm officially abandoning this fanfic. Maybe when I get the time I can post something not as Mary Sue or OOC in nature, but till then, I'll stick to being just a reader.

Thanks for joining me on this short and really strange adventure! And if I do post another story, I hope you'll check it out as well. Till then!


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